Before Marriage
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If you are reading this sentence now, you are probably thinking about marriage. I’m very glad you’re here because it means you are thoughtfully seeking your happiness.
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I intentionally chose "Before Marriage" as the heading because the best time to go through important questions regarding marriage is before entering into the marital relationship. "Marital relationship" sounds like some sort of state institution, and it will be just that if the wedding is not truly a wedding but merely a ceremony.
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First and foremost, it’s essential to understand what a wedding is. A wedding is a promise, an assurance, a verbal guarantee from one person to another. Is that all? No, because you want to invite many people to your wedding. The family of the bride, her friends, the family of the groom, and his friends are witnesses to the promise made, so you are also making a commitment to them. For believers, there is one more essential "Person" before whom you make this promise—God.
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I think most of us feel an inner unease when we fail to keep a promise made to another person, yet many spouses seem to deceive themselves from the very first day after the wedding until the end of their days. I deliberately wrote "seem to" because this may only appear to be the case. Very few people have any idea before the wedding, and even afterward, what love truly is and what we are vowing. Even if you, potential Husband, think you know what love is, and even if you, potential Wife, think you understand love, your "personal" definitions of love may differ significantly. Therefore, when you say, "I promise to love you," often one side does not truly know what the other is promising. For this reason, it is very important to mutually understand what the word "love" means to each other. Especially if you don’t know each other from childhood, it’s worth going through all the questions now. Honest answers given to each other should help you understand each other, your worldview, dreams, expectations, etc. Only then can a reasonable decision about marriage be made. Otherwise, it is a pure lottery.
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Marriage is one of the most significant choices in life, and unfortunately, it is made by people with little life experience. Therefore, it is essential to temporarily set aside emotions and rely on reason. Postponing the wedding date to reconsider and discuss the decision is not a problem or a shame.
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To help you get to know each other and yourselves better, I have prepared questions for you. You will find the questions in the QUESTIONS section. They are organized thematically but not necessarily by importance. The weight of each question is very personal. It is crucial that you are honest now because, unfortunately, the truth tends to come out, even after many years. You must not guess what answer your fiancé/fiancée expects (if you are already engaged). I believe that going through the QUESTIONS can help not only in deciding about marriage but also whether to remain in a relationship with your current boyfriend or girlfriend.
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You should exchange the question and answer sheets at the same time. One of you should not read the other's answers before writing your own. In such a situation, it would be easy to distort your own views.
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Additionally, to give you a chance to thoughtfully consider your life decision, it is essential that you do not live together before the wedding. Living together puts you more in a position of obligation to each other than allows for free choice.
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If you are reading this text and want to check if your partner is suitable for marriage, the questions below will also be helpful, provided you know your partner’s answers and their close surroundings. I also suggest answering about yourself to consider whether you are READY to be a husband or wife now.
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If you conclude that the questions have helped you make this important decision, we can celebrate together over coffee. You can send money for coffee by clicking the COFFEE button.